It has been 130 days since I fully stepped away from ministry. It's hard to believe that after being in ministry for almost 10 years that in 130 days, I could blow it so much. I have always said that it is so easy to be a strong Christian when you are surrounded by "Christian" things all the time(i.e. retreats, being at church, etc). Well, for the past 130 days I have not been surrounded by such things and in this moment I praise God for that, because He has taught me more in this amount of time then the the whole time I've been a christian.
A little bit of back story for those who may not know what has transpired in the past year. Probably a little more than a year ago I felt the initial call from God to resign from FBC and move onto other things, but like more who get comfortable, I ignored that call and kept doing what I was doing. After that point, ministry wise things just never seemed to go right, in my mind at least. Struggling seemed to become my focus, because that was all I was doing. Relationships began to become tarnished and even though I felt and still do that my actions were in the right, I didnt handle things well.
Finally after months of this, in one single moment God got my attention and made me realize that change was needed and that it was time, after 9 years of serving at FBC, to move on. I announced my official resignation in the spring of last year, with an effective date of Oct. 2. I began applying to other churches and for months kept getting to the same place in the process with many churches, but nothing came of it. Finally, in the first weeks of August, I found myself on my knees in my office pleading with God for direction and that's when He spoke and I heard His call for our family to go into misions.
So, thats where we are now. Oct. 2 came and went. My pastoral ministry career, for the time being, came to end. I never in a million years thought that life after that point would be so difficult for me. I have struggled more during this time than ever before. I allowed myself to let my guard down. My mindset let me think that since I had dedicated so much of myself to ministry since I became a christian, that it was ok to "take a break." MISTAKE! Just for clarification, ministry isnt about working in a church or serving at church. Ministry is a lifestyle. One that I have owned for 9 years, but 130 days ago I forgot that. Well, luckily for me I serve a God that never leaves or forsakes His people. I have been reminded of my calling. My favorite passage comes from the book of Ephesians and it states:
1 As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. 2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. 4 There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism; 6 one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.
I have been called to live a life worthy of my calling in Christ. And that is something not to take lightly. I am grateful that I am to repent of my sins and be allowed to continue serving him, but that isnt completely what this post is about.
Throughout this 130 day journey for me, I have reflected on my behavior and that behavior of others. Now if you want to take what I'm about to say as a judgement then so be it, but that's not it. It is completey based on accoutability. We are sinful people and we screw up all the time, but I have decided that poor circumstances, bad moods, long days, stressful times and an overall bad attitude is not excuse enough to behave outside the realm of complete Godliness. I get it some of us have endured really rough lives. But we are new creations in Christ, that are above are shortcomings. So, we stand is simple. That we call ourselves back to state of excellence in the name of Jesus. As believers we are better than the world or at least we should be.
No more excuses! It is time to prove what followers of Christ are all about. Stop gossiping, stop cursing, stop comparing yourself to others, stop idolizing things instead of God. We are to be unified and work together. It's time for us to step up to the plate and prove that. Forgive easily, ask for forgiveness when it is needed and always do the right thing.
I have not been a perfect person, nor will I ever be while on this earth, but I know that I must strive to be the man of God that God has called me to. So I'm taking the first step now. If you are reading this and I have done something to hurt you or that has been offensive to you, please message me. Let me know, because I wish to seek your forgiveness. I no longer want to be a stumbling block in your life. So, ahead of time I'm saying sorry, but please let me know. I have done a lot of stupid things and it's hard to remember all of them, sorry to say.
So, this is my call to excellence in Christ Jesus. Do with it what you want. Take it for what it is though. It is a serious plea to the followers of Christ to start acting like followers of Christ. The world needs Him and we are His messengers. We need to wake up and take that calling on our lives serious. You never know what God is going to throw in your direction, but we must be ready to succeed or fail and pick ourselves back up.
Tomorrow is day 131 and I'm ready to live it the way He would want me to!
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