Thursday, February 27, 2014

Letter to my Daughters Future Boyfriends


As a Dad, it is my God given duty to watch over my daughter. I have been blessed to teach, guide and equip her for life. This is a job I take very seriously. I have been trying my best since the day she was born. As she has become a teenager, she is now becoming more independent. Which is alright, but it is still my duty to continue protecting and teaching her with all my heart. So, I'm asking you to help me.

Help me with what you might ask. Let me explain. I'm sure she spends a great amount of time with you and talks with you often. You might even be going on dates. Understand that my daughter deserves to be respected. She has been brought up to understand that. Let me fill you in on what I feel that respect looks like.

Respect for my daughter means you respect her mother and I and our faith. This means you help us enforce rules and boundaries. My daughter is not perfect nor are you, but I ask that in those moments where breaking the rules might seem like the best option, you become the voice of reason. Uphold her beliefs and make her accountable to what she has been taught.

You may not believe what we believe. At this point it's ok. I hope though that you respect our faith and that it is an example to you of what is important. I pray that I and my family can show you the love of Christ so that you will follow after Him one day. As a side note, if you ever plan to marry my daughter, knowing Jesus is a prerequisite. I want you to know that up front.

Also, understand that being with my daughter is a privilege. I'm not the kinda dad that will say my daughter can't date but understand I have the ability to allow and revoke that privilege. Don't put me in a situation that I have to take it away because of poor judgement on your part or disrespect of my daughter. Within this, understand that I expect you to show the proper affections for her by coming to the door to pick her up, opening doors, pulling out chairs, etc.

Be prepared to be questioned by me. I want to know all about you and I want to see what my daughter is interested in in you. Trust me, her and I have already spoken about you. Also, we will talk about boundaries when it comes to interacting with her. I'm not naive to the fact that you are young and a teenager. I was once one myself and that is exactly why boundaries are needed.

While we are talking about boundaries let me say that my daughters sexual purity is extremely important. One day she will get married to the person God sees fit, that might be you, who knows. On that day I want her to be able to give the greatest gift to her husband she can give. Not just her virginity but her complete purity. You need to respect her enough that you protect that on her behalf as I pray that she will be protecting it herself.

Since you have decided to enter into a relationship with my daughter that means you have entered into a relationship with our whole family. When you come to my home you will be treated like part of our family. We expect both of you to be around the family, not off and alone. This also means we will hold you accountable to your actions. Not because we are wanting to enact power, but because we care about you. 

I also want to know your parents. I want to be able to talk with them in friendship and when something needs to be addressed concerning you and my daughter. I will let them know what boundaries I have set and that I expect them to be respected at your home.

My daughter is my world. God blessed me with her and I will do everything that I can to protect her. I love her with all my heart. One day you will understand what it means to be dad. When that happens I pray that my example to you is evident in how you teach and guide your children, especially your daughter. I hope you have read this with love and understanding from a Dad who loves his daughter with all his heart and hopes that you will have integrity enough to help him keep his little girl on the right path.

In Him,

A loving Father

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